The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

Today's post is starring *drumroll please* my adorable son, Spencer! Yes Kent, you get a break today!

So earlier I was feeding Spencer lunch. After he got done eating, he looked up at me and said, "More?" We'll ok. You can have more. But it's going to be something healthy! He led me to the cupboards so I put him up on the counter. He's got healthy snacks in the cupboard, after all. He stood up on the counter, opened the cupboard door, and pointed to a box of Girl Scout cookies. "No buddy. You don't need any cookies." He stared at me with his huge blue eyes a la Puss in Boots. Oh ok...cookies! Cookies for everyone!

I sat him down in his high chair and put one cookie on his tray at a time. About four cookies in (don't judge me!), I told him, "Ok buddy, this is the last one." I figured he would savor it, maybe make it last...instead he took one bite and threw the rest of the cookie on the floor. Throwing food on the floor has been a terrible habit of his for the last few weeks. He doesn't seem to understand that the kitty does NOT need to eat half of his lunch...anywho. He threw the cookie on the floor, so as I went to pick it up I told him "That was the last one and you threw it on the floor! No more! You might as well say 'bye bye' to that cookie because it is yuck!" I walked over to the trash can and threw the cookie away expecting to hear him screaming for his cookie. Instead when I turned around I looked at him and he was staring at the trash can waving. He looked up at me and said, "Bye bye!"

Oh, you are your father's son aren't you?

Wardrobe Malfunction

Kent has this obsession with changing his socks. Seriously, he changes them like five times a day. The other night we had a special church service and when we came home and relaxed I looked down and saw white crew socks peeking out from under my husband's black dress slacks.

Me: You did not seriously go to church wearing those socks.
Kent: No, I changed into these when we got in.
Me: Good. The only person ever allowed to do that was Michael Jackson.
Kent: (Ominously) Yeah, and look what happened to him.

Your legacy lives on MJ. Your legacy lives on.

Things Aren't Always As They Seem

***DISCLAIMER: Despite how some of these posts may sound my husband is a very nice, smart man. It has come to my attention that my extremely unbiased rantings may make him sound jerk-ish, jerk-like, or otherwise jerk-a-licious. We are quite happy together and pretty hilarious if I do say so myself.***

There. Now maybe he'll stop whining.

Now. On to the point of this post! Kent and I were at a gas station and up until this point I was driving. Kent sometimes makes me extremely nervous when I'm behind the wheel because he has a tendency to complain about my driving. Whether or not his complaints are justified will remain unsaid. Anyway, as we were stopped at this gas station we start to argue about my driving and whether to prepay or pay at the pump and what to get to drink at the gas station...it wasn't our finest moment. I go inside, come back out and realize this whole time there was a woman at the pump next to us who was trying really hard not to make eye contact with me. I realized she had witnessed our entire stupid argument.

Me: Oh great. Now this poor woman thinks we are the most unhappy couple on the planet. (Yelling out the window to the woman) We're really very happily married, I promise!
Kent: (To me) Oh, shut up!

I'm sure the fact that that last statement was followed by laughter really confused that poor woman. I should have bought her a coke...

The Last Supper

Our church is doing a traditional Easter play. Kent and I both volunteered to be a part of it. We were rehearsing the scene in which all of the disciples are sitting around Jesus and he tells them that one of them will betray them. After everyone asked if they were the ones who betray him, here's what happened:

Judas: Is it I, Lord?
Jesus: You have said it.
Kent: (In one voice) Dang it, I lost that bet! (In a higher voice) You owe me sixpence!

I'm pretty sure this is the one instance where ad-libbing is NOT ok.

Talk About Your Cliff-hangers

Kent and I were having a deep conversation about how someone's words can positively or negatively affect another person in a way that they never even realized.  Kent told me this story...

Kent:  That kind of reminds me of a story that I heard once.  This kid was in high school, and one day he just decided to clean out his locker.  Another kid saw him doing that and thought it was strange so he decided to go up and talk to him and ask him why he was doing that.  It turns out that he was taking all of his school books home because he was going to kill himself, but-
Me:  With his books???
Kent:  I hate you.

I never did hear how that story ended...

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

Whatever bug I caught last week I have had a terrible time shaking. I think it got to its worst yesterday. I was literally in bed all day and along with all the lovely things going on with my stomach, I also got to deal with some lovely sinus drainage. Well, I don't know if any of you have ever had to deal with bad sinus issues, but take it from someone with chronic sinus infections...it makes your breath reek. I am feeling ten million times better today and was talking to Kent about all my issues from being sick and made the mistake of apologizing for any stinky side affects of my sinus drainage.

Me: Sorry about my breath yesterday. I'm sure it was awful.
Kent: Yeah...there were a couple of times when I almost asked you if you farted, but then I just realized it was the smell of you talking.

Looks like we could both benefit from keeping our mouths shut once in a while.

Political Research

Unfortunately today's post will not contain any hilarious conversation, but hopefully it contains something that might leave you just as fulfilled.

I just opened up my laptop to see that there was a window in the browser with a Google search for Ron Paul bobble heads.  It's nice to know that my husband is basing his potential vote on the important issues.

Cubes of Death

Kent HATES to be cold. We have a heated mattress pad on our bed and thank God it has different controls for each side. While I like to maintain a moderately normal temperature on my side of the bed, when he sleeps he likes it to feel like anywhere between a blazing inferno and the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. Give or take a few degrees. Last night I crawled into bed shortly after he did after coming in from the cold. He wasn't having any of it.

Kent: Ahhh! (jerks away from me)
Me: What is wrong with you?
Kent: Keep your feet off of me!
Me: My feet didn't even touch you!
Kent: Yes they did! They felt like death cubes!
Me: What are death cubes?
Kent: They're like ice cubes...only worse.

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Spencer (my one-year-old) loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Unfortunately I've started a habit that is going to be hard to break.  In fact, he will whine and whine until I do it.  In shock, awe, and tons of regret, I decided to text my husband.

Stephanie Keck
Oh no...I have started something I can't undo.

Kent Keck
What?

Stephanie Keck
I have to sing the Peanut Butter Jelly song to Spencer every time I make him a pb&j.

Kent Keck
Lol.

Stephanie Keck
I should get a big banana suit...

2 Outta 3 Ain't Bad

Kent and I lead extremely busy lives.  There are times when he gets home from work just in time for me to give him instructions for Spencer and then rush out the door to go to a photo shoot, music practice, or the occasional purse party.  There are other days where we literally don't get to spend a moment together until about 10:00 at night.  When we were newlyweds this wasn't too much of a problem because we had the freedom to come and go however we pleased, but now that we have a son we take certain measures and meticulously plan out our evenings, and I like for them to go as smoothly as possible.

Kent: You have Zumba tonight, right?
Me:  That is correct.
Kent:  Then after that you have play practice, right?
Me:  That is correct.
Kent:  How do you feel about me completely over-complicating how our evening is going to go?
Me:  That is incorrect.

Growing up, my dad always told me I had selective hearing...